The Audacity of Conservatism

Thank you David E. Kelley!

For those who are unaware of who Kelley is, he is the creator, executive producer, and head writer of the television series Boston Legal. The four or five episodes airing on ABC prior to this writing reinforces my belief that we need to turn the tables on liberals who demand reinstatement of the so-called “Fairness Doctrine” for talk radio. You want to take on talk radio? Fine; I’ll take on network television.

Tune in to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin or Neal Boortz and you know what you’re getting. They are who you think they are—conservatives—and they don’t try to lull you into thinking that tuning them in will get you anything other than staunch ideology. Tune in Boston Legal, or a dozen other network television programs in either daytime or prime time, and you get lovable, laughable, warm and empathetic characters who are usually liberal, and misguided, laughed-at, cold and unfeeling characters who are usually conservative.

Denny Crane, William Shatner’s BL persona, is a rock-ribbed, gun-toting, abortion-loathing, Bush-defending Republican. At least he was until November 3rd. In that “historic” episode—airing less than twelve hours before the polls would open the following day—after 55-minutes of sticking up for conservative values, Crane confesses to his best friend Alan Shore (played by James Spader) that he had “crossed the aisle enough for one day”; that he had voted for Barack Obama; that even he could not look forward to the prospect of another four years of the Bush administration.

The difference between conservative talk radio (heck; any style of talk radio) and programs like BL is that the host of a talk radio program, as well as his or her guests, can speak for themselves; unscripted, and unencumbered by the whims and wishes of others. A character on a television program is the invention of generally one person, created with a specific set of innate qualities and flaws who is required to engage with others created the same way; completely scripted and subject to the whims of one person or one group of writers, with a pre-determined outcome for all their interactions.

With talk radio, there is a free-flow of ideas and ideals. On network television, interaction is anything but free-flow. On radio, real people on either side of the subject can bring up their own perspectives and their own defenses in real time without a filter. On television, make-believe characters bring up only those perspectives which serve the agenda of the program’s creators—liberal characters use both real and imaginary facts in order to support of their position, and conservative characters are scripted inaccuracies that are weak-kneed or completely without conviction, in generally failing efforts to win support their own. In the case of BL, Shore always wins the battle of ideologies over Crane who–as I suspect is like most conservatives in Kelley’s mind–suffers from Mad Cow Disease (early stages of Alzheimer’s). At the end of each episode, liberalism always wins out over conservatism—just the way it should be; right Kelley?

Just as on that other pillar of balanced network programming, ABC’s The View, Crane is outnumbered by all the other characters on the show; much the same way Elizabeth Hasslebeck is relegated to passing indifference by Barbara Walters, Joy Behar, Whoopi Goldberg, and their liberal of the week guest host. The only difference is Shatner’s character has creative timing and no one is stepping on his lines. Hasslebeck, on the other hand, is bulldozed at every turn; and without fail, when on those rare occasions she manages to take control over an argument which can’t be refuted by her co-hosts, Walters interrupts for that all important commercial timeout and then doesn’t return to the topic after the break.

Liberal talk radio has been tried and has failed in almost every market in the country. Hardly anyone wants to listen to the constant negativity! (When did you ever hear a liberal advocate for personal acheivement and pulling ahead of the pack?) In those few markets where liberal talk radio is successful, the station management makes money and is motivated to keep the program on its schedule with neither encouragement nor requirement. In those markets where the ratings were substandard (or non-existent), programming changes were made to a air a host and a program listeners want to tune-in to, and on whom advertisers are willing to spend their ad dollars.

In the alternative, however, the last program I recall with a decided conservative leaning was the popular CBS hit series JAG. This military-themed, action packed drama which maintained a positive perspective on both the aftermath of 9-11 and the war in Iraq, was on-the-air for ten years. BL is going off-the-air due to diminishing ratings after five. (Kelley’s series’ rarely have a shelf life beyond five years.) So why hasn’t someone picked up on the concept that conservatism can sell as easily on television as it does on talk radio? Peer pressure; plain and simple.

Hollywood elites hold conservative members of the film and television community in great distain and generally only acquiesce to using them because box office numbers and television ratings are the only things that speak louder than politics. So why aren’t network heads clamoring for conservative based programming? Easy; conservatives aren’t members of the hallowed inner circle, so their projects have to get tripped over by accident to find recognition.

So thanks again, Mr. Kelley. I’m sure you always wanted to be a shining example of something when you were growing up. Well, you should have been careful, and more specific, about what you were wishing for. It would seem you’re about to get it!

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